Trauma sucks

But God…

It’s so frustrating and tiring when your body just decides to freak out on you because it thinks anything is a threat. A change, even a positive one, can set it off where your heart races and you start not thinking rationally anymore because your brain decides to kick into fight and flight mode.

After 20 years of abuse, this is where I’m at with my body. It’s going a lot better with help and counseling. But there’s so many hidden wounds that I am still discovering and God bringing to the surface for healing. To say that it’s not painful I would be lying. Sometimes it’s just excruciating. And yes there are times I just want to quit. But it’s definitely not by my own strength that I keep moving forward. I know I couldn’t do this without God‘s strength. A day at a time. Sometimes that’s all I can do.

Trauma impacted and changed my brain and my nervous system. I am hoping that people will understand that trauma is more than just racing thoughts. There is a biological response happening to my body when it feels threatened, the innate fight or flight response. Counseling did help me rework some of my responses through EMDR treatment. So they have definitely lessen over the years. But as some heal, others are coming up. It’s definitely not an overnight process.

I want to start journaling my healing process that God has me in right now in order to help others understand that it’s not easy, but with God anything is possible.

I also want through this journaling, help the church understand more of what trauma is and how we can help others that are going through it. It’s time to start talking about this. No more shame about mental health issues. God wants us restored; body, soul, and mind.

God is bringing me from survivor, to overcomer, to a champion. Right now, I am

a work in progress. God is the potter and I am the clay. But I know in His eyes he sees a masterpiece. I’m a masterpiece, you are a masterpiece.

Lord, I pray for the ones that are hurting right now that they were feel your comfort and know that you are an everlasting presence to them. That they feel your love for them. You are a compassionate father. In the Word, it even says that Jesus had compassion for the leper that asked to be healed. Father we know that our emotional health is just as important to you as our physical health. We love you Lord with all our  heart, all our soul, and all our mind.

Lord, we pray in the name of Jesus, that the shame that has been attached to mental health issues is broken and falling off people right now. Lord, give us your strength to stand up and speak out on this topic and the church. I thank you for the ones that are doing it and I pray for others to come forward as well. You said in your word, that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. So we are going to stand on that promise Father. Thank you Lord for your mercies that are renewed every morning. I just thank you Lord for loving us when were still sinners. Thank you Jesus for your love for us. Thank you Holy Spirit for being our advocate and comforter. In Jesus name, amen.